The Soapbox: What wouldn’t Jesus do?

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By John Cappelletti

When making a decision or criticizing decisions made by others, some people have asked, “What would Jesus do?”

Since all of the candidates running for the Presidency, or have dropped out of the race, consider themselves devout Christians (except, of course, for Bernie), we should not only ask these candidates What would Jesus do? But also What would Jesus definitely not do, or say?

(The scene is a mountaintop near Jerusalem. Jesus looks out at the thousands of people who have gathered to hear him speak.)

JESUS: Look! What a multitude! We should really do well today.

PETER: I bet we rake in a multitude of shekels from these suckers. We’re getting five shekels a head for this speech.

JESUS: My speeches are worth it. They’re great, like me. Did you bring the loaves and fishes?

PETER: Did I ever! Mary Magdalene got a good deal on stale bread. Also, she  got buckets of fish that’ve seen better days, but, not to worry, we cut the smell with spices so they should sell well at two shekels a pop, plus another shekel for our special homemade wine we call Gabriel’s Trumpet.

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Cabbie arrested after fatal hit-and-run in front of Stuyvesant Town


Stuyvesant Town (Photo by Sabina Mollot)

By Sabina Mollot

Police have arrested a taxi driver in connection with a hit-and-run that left a woman dead in front of Stuyvesant Town on Saturday.

John Bangura, a 68-year-old resident of Washington Heights, was arrested on Sunday morning. Police were able to track him down through his vehicle, which was seen in surveillance video.

According to police, the victim, identified as Bronx resident Kenya Flores, 44, had been lying in the road prior to being hit by the cab. Additionally, according to police, she was wearing all black when hit by the car at around 3:36 a.m.

When police responded to the scene, which was First Avenue between East 16th and 17th Streets, Flores was lying in the bus lane on the east side of First Avenue, with trauma to her body. An EMS team took the woman to Bellevue Hospital, but she couldn’t be saved.

A witness told cops that Flores’s body, after being hit, had been dragged down the street. The accident also caused the grill of the car to come off and an officer had to remove it from the victim’s foot, according to the criminal complaint.

Police said they were later able to match the piece of the grill to Bangura’s cab and they stated he admitted to being the one behind the wheel at the time of the accident. Bangura has since been charged with leaving the scene of an accident resulting in death.

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‘Game of Thrones’ promo leaves fans feeling burned

Fans who came to see a dragon only got to see smoke and a few overturned pieces of park furniture. (Photo by Maria Rocha-Buschel)

Fans who came to see a dragon only got to see smoke and a few overturned pieces of park furniture. (Photo by Maria Rocha-Buschel)

By Maria Rocha-Buschel

An event held at Union Square Park to promote the HBO drama “Game of Thrones” ended up being mocked by the show’s fans and a few media outlets after an anticipated appearance by a “dragon” was a no-show.

Gothamist poked fun at the display, which included crushed benches and an overturned lamppost accented by billowing smoke that resulted in a visit from the Fire Department. But as it was reminiscent of pretty much any construction site seen throughout the city, the New York Post proclaimed the event a “dud.”

This was because after fans had waited hours for the spectacle, which was set up ahead of the fantasy show’s season 5 DVD release, there were only dragon footprints on the ground and an HBO employee who was tasked with “apologizing” that the large mythical reptile had caused such a “mess.”

Gothamist reported that FDNY showed up after reports of smoke. A fireman asked if they would be able to turn it off and after being shown a permit for the event, they relented, but said that if they continued to get calls about it, the smoke would have to be turned off.

The event was hosted in conjunction with a screening later that day in Herald Square, showing an animated featurette about the making of an episode.